Random 1 o'clock Thoughts

I love the fourth of july, but i'm not too fond of the eleventh. that's not meant to be funny, it is what it is. it's funny how different dates have different significance to different people, kinda like different songs or colors or smells. we all live in the same world and it means something different to each of us. we all cope differently, and react differently to the same situation. "it's what makes the world go round." not really, though, the world would go round even if there were no people on it. one time, a friend of mine had told me that it seemed like a cop out to him to give the explanation "cuz God made it that way" to everything. that made me laugh. actually, it kinda made me sad back then, but it makes me laugh now. if it were such a simple thing, wouldn't more people believe it, or even say it, at least? Abe Lincoln once said that "truth is not determined by how many people believe it." rock on, abe. people have always amazed me. i often wonder what they are thinking, what motivates them to do what they do, or say what they say. i think about how they say things compared to what's probably really going on in their minds, and what compels them to change it somewhere in-between. or how about those people that don't talk often? those people intrigue me the most, because they are usually the ones that get the most respect. i know that, yet, i still can't keep my mouth shut. you shouldn't be who you aren't to gain respect, i suppose. if i can't get it being me, i don't deserve it acting like someone else. i often say the wrong thing at the right time, or the right thing at the wrong time, but it all comes out eventually. instead of opening up the front door really wide and letting all the bugs in, i think i need to invest in a screen door for my brain, so only the cool breeze can float in, and i don't even have to worry about the bugs. i've got quite a collection, though. maybe it's time to get rid of that, too. all those stupid things i have said or done that still float through my mind, that probably nobody else cares about or even remembers. yeah...maybe i'll try to sell my bug collection on e-bay...some sucker would invest in it for sure...probably a self-sabotager looking for some new material to berade themselves with, after all..."it's what makes the world go round" right? i honestly hope that through my relationship with Jesus Christ, that circle of negativity has been broken.....i know it has. my friend, Lindsay, moved to California today....i wish her the best.