this particular camper was a middle-aged man in a wheelchair. he had about 10% use of his legs, but he had full use of his arms and torso. he was at the two-week long camp, and he was one of my favorites. he loved the lake. we would wheel him to the end of the dock, and lift him out of his chair and set him on the edge, take off his socks and shoes and let his feet dangle in the water. he loved sitting in that spot. sometimes he would talk to the lifeguard standing near him on the dock. sometimes that lifeguard was me. it was difficult because we couldn't get too distracted...there were a lot of campers who liked to break the rules, or just didn't understand them. this camper knew we still had a job to do and was very patient when we had to interrupt or ask him politely to let us observe without any distractions. one day it was really slow on the water and he told me his story.
he was a young man when he had his accident. he told me all about his firebird that he had...mint condition, all the bells and whistles. it was a horrific accident, and he was lucky to be alive...he was driving too fast. nothing was the same after the accident. he was a factory worker, and took pride in working with his hands, but he had to leave his job. he collected disability but never found anyone that would hire him. all he wanted to do was work.
i remember when we had one of our fun workshop days, and one of the workshops i ran was a car wash. we had a couple of hoses, some buckets and suds, and sponges and washcloths. we pulled some of the staff vehicles onto the grass, including my jeep, and let the campers wash the cars. they loved it!! of course it became a huge water fight, which i will never forget...it was great!! you should have seen the look on their faces...truly priceless. we just laughed and screamed and soaked each other for an hour.
this guy, though, didn't get into the water fight right away. he couldn't wait to grab a sponge and a cloth and detail the outside of my jeep from top to bottom. all he wanted to do was work. you should have seen the look on his face...truly priceless. it moves me to tears just thinking about it. you could tell he felt more joy in that moment than he had in a long time. he felt like he had something to offer, and he was good at it. he was reaching as far as he could from his chair to detail the tires, the windows, each nook and cranny. i continued to compliment the work he did as he went, and he continued to work harder after each compliment. he must have worked on my jeep for over an hour. he joined the water fight for roughly five minutes, and then continued on to the next car and began the work again. we let him stay out there and work on the cars for a couple of hours, but then it was time to clean up for dinner.
i'll never forget that day as long as i live.
i don't know how i made it through this past summer. i can't imagine being able to make it through another one. the physical, mental, and emotional demands of that job were more than any other i've had before...and i've had some pretty demanding jobs. i do know i will go back to the fowler center, even if it's just to help out for a couple of weeks. they always seem to be short a few staff members. there were a few campers during every camp that stole my heart. i think i need to go back to find it again.
i wonder what's going on in that specific camper's life right now. what are his days like? did he ever find work? what does he do to stay busy? does he have people in his life who listen to him? is he able to find things that bring him joy? can he get around okay in all this snow, or does he stay cooped up all winter? does he live alone?
why do these things always enter my mind at midnight...when i have to wake up in five hours and be ready for a very busy day with the kids? the truth is it's not just midnight when these campers enter my mind...it's all the time....when i'm driving, when i'm watching a movie, when i'm laughing with my friends, when i'm walking down the street...all the time. i knew it would challenge me to work at the fowler center this summer. i knew it would make me sad, but also cause me to think about things in a different way.
i am different. i was completely broken down this summer. i find myself at a loss for words to describe what i feel when i think about the whole experience. my heart aches, but seems to have a new understanding of the human condition at the same time. i don't know. it seems the more i understand, the more my heart breaks. i think i just need some sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment