Band of Brotherhoood

I have been lying awake in my bed for almost two hours.  I find myself in such a state of peace, however, being awake does not bother me.  Sometimes these very early mornings are the best part of my day; sitting in the dark, letting my mind have free reign.  Sometimes.

I woke up from a dream, a good dream.  I was in a cathedral, singing in a choir.  We were not singing words, just...sounds.  It was a very large, immaculate cathedral, but one I have never seen before.  I was looking in on myself, from a vantage point somewhere along the wall of the cathedral, circling overhead and then resting where I stood as soon as the choir hit a note that transcends anything I've ever heard.  The overtone was breathtaking, and suddenly I was looking out of my own eyes again.  I woke up.  The note keeps ringing in my head, but not in an intrusive way.  I'm grateful for it.  I am at peace.

In light of very recent events, it seems peace should be the farthest thing from what I feel.  (After another twelve hour day of working hard, you come home and jump online only to find your own job posted, but you were never told about it; and when your heart is at war with your mind, but you can't seem to figure out which one is giving what argument, it all can begin to unravel.)  Those that know me, know that I can hold my own in a choir (after months of practice, gallons of tea, and some strict vocal coaching, of course;), but I am certainly not a singer.  In the dream, however, the voice just came...it was so...easy...as if it were not even coming from me, but through me.  The peace, I know, does not come from me either, and it materializes just as easy.

It was a different time, in my dream.  It wasn't this time, this place.  The congregation was not there for a church service, it was something else.  It wasn't sad, though.  There was a group of young soldiers sitting in the front.  Their uniforms looked older.  I can't quite place the time, but if I had to guess, they looked like soldiers who would have fought in World War II, maybe.  While I was singing, I wanted to share my peace with them.  I wanted them to be part of something beautiful.  I know it all sounds so...not cliche'...but close.  Sometimes the weight of people's loneliness, emptiness, and unhappiness makes me tired.  This was not one of those moments, is not one of those moments.  I want the world to know the peace that I feel.  I do not feel the burden of responsibility that often overwhelms me, but instead, a calm that overtakes me.  It is not my burden to bear.

No one emotion overtakes me, I am simply....halcyon.  I do not feel the need to praise, to weep, to laugh, or to sleep.  I am truly at peace.