Hot Flash...or the Holy Spirit?

I choose to write in this color, because that is how I feel right now...on fire. I now have so much empathy for middle-age menopausal women. I'm a twenty-something menopausal woman. Yes, hot flashes, dry eyes, fatigue, mood swings, the works. There is a blessing in all this, no monthly curse. However, I do still get PMS, pretty much every week. What is that about? I will not go on about my feminine troubles...who wants to hear about that, really? I am supposed to be in church...I was in church...and then, BOOM, hot flash...I'll make it back in for communion...that's why I came today, anyway, and to catch up with my kids and see how everybody's doing. I hear the organ, and somehow it is enough for me to know that there are people who I care very much for, worshiping the God I have learned to love, right in the next room. I have a warm feeling, not uncomfortable like the hot flash, but the warm feeling of love...like a cat stretched out on the carpet, as the sun pours in from the window, bathing the cat in its warmth; warmth you can feel right down to your bones...the Holy Spirit warmth. So many people get hooked on the rules. I have always had a problem following rules that nobody could explain to me. Right now, many people would frown at the fact that I am sitting here writing this blog. However, I am so in tune with the Holy Spirit right now. I have trouble sitting in church sometimes, and I know many people can relate. Some days, I really enjoy just sitting there, dressed up, my time, to hear God's word, and let Him speak to me. Some days, I don't really listen very well, and I write, or read, but I'm still there, and hear what I need to hear. Some days, like today, I am in the building, and that seems to be enough. Some days, I show up in my jeans and t-shirt, knowing that that is the only way I was going to get my butt to church, and if people frown at me, I smile and say "at least I'm here, man, and I am comfortable". Some days, I have other stuff going on, but I know God is just as much a part of that as He is a part of the service that is going on at the same time. Some days, I am at home, sleeping, or sitting, resting, and God is there, too. Don't get me wrong, church is great, and fellowship is wonderful, and without it, it's easy to become less accountable. If I have built a relationship with God, like a friend, or like my Father, than I will come to Him every day and speak with Him, invite Him to be part of every moment, and read His word whenever I get the chance. I would also stop by His house occasionally to visit...sometimes I stop by during the week, when no one else is here, and sit and talk to Him. Those are some of my favorite moments, and I'm blessed to have a key to His house, so I can come in whenever I want. I've never been really good at relationships, thankfully, most people are understanding. God, however, expects more, and I'm grateful. I've always had a lot of respect for the people who expect more out of me. God knows what I'm capable of, good and bad, so the fact that He expects more shows me that I am capable of more. I better get going, Jesus is waiting, broken for me.