ROCK ON!!

The kids in my youth group tease me 'cuz I always say "Rock on" about everything. Tonight, I said it like a million times. There was this band playing, and they pretty much rocked...80's style all night long. I am just wiped out right now...in desparate need of a shower...and dying of thirst...and it all totally rocks. I can already tell I'm going to be sore tomorrow, but it's sooo worth it!! Seriously, the band's name was "jedi...something, something" i don't really remember anything except the jedi part 'cuz "Return of the Jedi" was only one of the best movies ever! I danced and sang so loud, and most people were right there with me. I love it when everyone just throws their inhibitions to the wind, and decides to go completely crazy! I don't mean like doing stupid stuff, but just throwin' your fists in the air, singing at the top of your lungs, and not caring about who's next to you or what you look like. I really needed a night to just let go, no drinking or anything, I don't need that....just a pure adrenaline rush from the feel of the bass soaring through your soul. I'm definitely going to be sore tomorrow:). I'll probably be at the church from 8 in the morning to 7 at night. I definitely have some homework to catch up on (I'm still so freakin' behind, man, it's killin' me). I love working at the church...and I love hanging out with the kids. It's all good. I'm considering just staying up at this point. I have to be up in three hours anyway. All I have to say about tonight is rock on, man, ROCK ON!

I'd Rather Have Rabbits........

It seems, since I have returned from Illinois State and the American College Theatre Festival last week, that I have just been putting all of the items from my "must do" list into a hat, shaking them up, and pulling them out one by one, attempting to get as much done as I can. I don't think that is a very good system, but it was really the only way to stay sane. I have to go to Youth Group in a couple of minutes, and I still haven't planned anything for it...plus I have to sign kids up for the "Souper Bowl of Caring" lunch we are putting on next Sunday for charity. Right now, I would like to bury my head in my pillow and scream as loud as I can. I think I will. I don't think I'm much of a screamer...the noise that just came out of me was so ridiculous, it caused me to crack up laughing instead of screaming...better luck next time. It's funny cuz I'm not totally freaking out like I probably should be. Dude, what's the point? Seriously. As long as I had my devotion time today, which I did, I'm doing okay. Alright, let's see what's in the hat....."take a shower". Hm. Oh yeah, I have to go to Youth Group...I guess the shower will have to wait. I'm beginning to think that "take a shower" shouldn't be in the hat, it should just kind of be a given, like eating or sleeping. It's probably the easiest thing in the hat right now, though, so it stays. I hope I don't get it twice in a row...that would be kind of wierd. I better go...the things in the hat seem to be multiplying by the second....I guess that is kind of like rabbits. Peace.

Breaking Bracket Barriers

God is so good to me. Something about this past holiday season has brought about a change in me that can be described as nothing but extremely positive. Knowing that the new year was coming up, and resolution time was just around the corner, I decided to make a couple lifestyle changes around Thanksgiving, so that by the time the new year rolled around, I would already be well on my way to who I wanted to be. I realize that every day is a matter of perspective. I know that sounds silly, like something I should have realized before. I did realize it. In any given moment or circumstance I was very good at realizing that it was an attitude issue more than anything. I do believe one thing I am pretty good at is looking within myself to see what I can change or do differently, or how I am at fault, or what I can do to improve a situation. Thankfully, God is always working on my heart in that area. You can't change other people, but you can look within yourself. Sometimes, I have been accused of being too passive or too forgiving. Is there such a thing? I simply choose to pick my battles carefully. Unfortunately, when I decide something is worth fighting for, it's hard to back down, no matter how bad the odds look. I think people may have something to say about some of the battles I choose, as well. People will always have something to say about everything. That is another thing I have realized recently. You are never going to please everyone. Again, it's something I've heard before, but, for the first time, I've been a little forgiving of myself. I'm still growing and changing, and looking to better myself every day. However, I'm not constantly beating myself up anymore, and it feels pretty good. I realize if I say something I shouldn't, I apologize, or let it go, realizing that I can't take it back, I can only work on choosing my words more carefully next time. I finally understand that people are probably not thinking about me as much as I think they are. They are probably a lot like me and more concerned about what I think of them. All this focus on myself was not allowing me the time to love on people the way God intended. If I don't like myself, how can I encourage other people to love themselves, or how can I expect others to love me? Anyway, back to the perspective thing. I usually hate winter. I love that feeling in the spring of rejuvination and hope. I realize that both of those things live within me, or else how could I feel them in the first place? Why not transfer that feeling to the present circumstances? It worked! I can walk outside, bundled up, and have the same feeling that I do on that first day of warm weather in the spring. It's all a matter of perspective. I think it's also a matter of balance. You have to make an effort every single day to maintain balance in your life. That is balance physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. If you slack off a bit, don't beat yourself up, just do something to change it the minute you realize you are a bit off track. I am also careful about what I am putting in my body. I have been eating better and making great choices. It took about a month to establish good eating patterns, and it's not perfect, but it is much better, and I feel a big difference in my energy level, my mood, and my overall well-being. One of the biggest changes I have made is diving into God's word, everyday. It doesn't matter if I fully understand it or gain some insightful wisdom. I do some devotion questions, or I just read a story I am unfamiliar with. I have also read favorite verses, or read the gospel...again. God said His word never comes back void and I believe it! I didn't do it expecting these great things to happen to me, but the changes in me are unmistakable. I know that I am on a spiritual high, and at a very good place in all the other areas of my life. I also know that chances are very good that it will not last forever, With the changes I have made, however, I feel I am in a new bracket (kind of like your taxes), and when it balances out, I will still be a step above where I was before. A step closer to who God wants me to be. To God be the glory!!