all is quiet on the eastern front

i recently picked up "mooring against the tide" and read the intro. it was a text book i had for a poetry class a couple of years ago. i didn't read it then, but i kept it in case i decided to read it someday. the intro went on to say that we should write poems about the everyday things that matter, the things we can see only if we stop and really look and listen. take a moment, it said, the abstract of what you are feeling, and turn it into something concrete, that others might be able to see. i guess i never really thought of it that way. it also mentioned taking notes all the time and forming a poem later. i've never taken notes for a poem, i've just written them. i've never not finished a poem and then came back to it later. that seems weird to me. oh well. writing is not something i want to do, so i'm not too worried about getting better at it. the book has caught my interest, however. the smell of graham crackers and bath bubbles makes me smile as i brush a blanket over tiny fingers and toes sitting back at the computer i man my post listening to cars go by smelling the smoke as the mothers sit silently on the porch today has just turned into tomorrow the traffic has slowed on holland except for the sirens doors slam i can hear the wind for a moment peace i notice a novel next to the computer "all quiet on the western front" for now all is quiet on the eastern front as well

It's the time of your life, so live it well...

i'm sitting here at the computer. teo, keelee, and joshua are all asleep as the credits roll on "a bug's life"...they are little kids, and i absolutely adore them all. i took teo and keelee to the park tonight to give mama a break. i was supposed to go out on the town tonight...i prefer the park, and this moment right now, with the babies sleeping in the next room, and a nice breeze coming in the window, after a long evening of playing "chase the monkies around the park to get them back in their cages which they cleverly escape from every time i turn my back." i'm off to take a shower, and then to bed. i think i'm moving into the unfinished attic in the next few days to make room for more guests. if anybody's interested in helping me finish it, that would be sweet. living in community is nothing and everything i expected all at once. it's excruciating and exhilerating, and exhausting, and completely humbling...time consuming, rewarding, blissful, dreadful, the list could go on and on and on. i am where i'm supposed to be...who would've thought? saginaw, michigan. probably the second to last place i would've picked next to where i graduated from high school. there is such a need here. people need to start investing in this area. i think i am as worn out and as happy as i would be in any other place. i think i need to go to bed.

Yolk does not = yoke

so...normally when i make a pretty ignorant choice and find it later, i erase the mistake and replace it with a more appropriate response, before people have a chance to see my mistake. this time, however, i'll just leave it as is and fix my mistake in a new blog. it's okay to admit to my own ignorance...i'm not perfect, and i make mistakes...i'll just keep reminding myself that admitting my mistakes to everyone might make someone else feel better about themselves :) in my previous blog i referred to the "yolk of Christ in my heart"...well, the thought occurred to me a few times between then and now that it might be the yoke of Christ. i checked today (today meaning three days ago because it took me a few days to have time to sit and continue writing this blog...no time to write recently...too much to do) and, sure enough, it is yoke, not yolk. i guess it could still make sense, after looking up both definitions from many different points of reference. on wikipedia (an excellent source, usually, except for that minor infraction where it stated that the comic Sinbad was deceased when, in fact, he was still alive and kickin') it defines yolk as "the part of the egg which serves as the food source for the developing embryo inside." hm. in that case, the yolk of Christ makes sense. when we first decide to invite Christ to be a part of our lives, we are like embryos in need of constant nourishment...as we develop we still need to constantly be fed and take in nourishment from Christ, but the later wisdom could be more comparable to milk and then solid food. in fact, Paul uses this reference when writing to the gentiles. yoke refers to a tool used to steer two oxen or horses. it's the big crossbow that goes between the animals. hm. doesn't sound very comfortable when you put it that way. Jesus says "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." maybe He's saying, "let me steer." it seems an oxen would have a much better time of things if he wouldn't fight where the farmer wanted to go. it seems the oxen would have a much better time if they both listened and paid attention to the farmer, rather than fight one another to go their own way. My yoke is easy...not simple, easy. i would be curious to look up the actual Hebrew term used for "easy." okay, so i just spent about an hour looking up different things and actually found the written text in aramaic, but no translation or way of knowing how to begin to interpret it. looks like my study will have to go a little deeper than a quick internet search. well, whether it's the yolk of Christ or the yoke...i truly need both to make it through each day. maybe i should start to use my rebellious nature towards fighting the yoke of oppression we have allowed to continue in the Systems we have built that directly defy the wonderful things Christ stood for, instead of fighting against the yoke that is actually Christ leading me...a yoke He claims is "easy". I've never been steered wrong by taking Him at His Word before...why would He suddenly steer me wrong now?

It's Been A While

yep. it's been a month...almost. not that there haven't been a bajillion thoughts running through my head. it seems, there has been no good time to sit and write them all down. sometimes, i feel like i shouldn't waste time writing them down, you know? just when i get it down, another fifty thoughts have crept into my mind, some of which might actually contradict the original thought. does anyone else have this problem? it seems i'm either writing all the time, or not writing at all. new things in my life. ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, as the song goes. might've put too many ch's. i am so blessed. have i said that before? i hope so. i am. i cannot wrap my mind around why God has chosen to be friends with me...i mean, like, close friends. my heart is constantly in despair and full of joy at the same time. is that crazy? it's like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, but the yolk of Christ is in my heart. yolk. funny that Christ would use yolk. mustard seeds, lamps, yolk, soil, you name it, Christ uses it to teach. He used what people were familiar with...and He didn't explain His parables to everyone. hm. Christ is my best friend. He is who I want to walk hand in hand with in the wilderness. i bet He smells like grilled cheese sandwiches and cookies. i bet He didn't smell like that when He was on this earth, though. vagabond...itinerant...lover...healer. i desire to be like Him. more later...the sun is shining...my stomach is growling...and everything is not right with the world...so i better get to work.