On Eagle's Wings: November 2013

After standing in the cold for a couple of hours, holding onto whatever warmth I could gather from my hot chocolate, and singing Christmas carols and dancing with the group of little girls who were standing close by, they finally lit the Christmas tree in Campus Martius! It was a wonderful moment, and a great atmosphere overall.

As we were walking back to the car, I noticed a pile of blankets in the corner of a doorway of one of the empty buildings. As we passed by, I realized it was moving...it was a person, trying to sleep. It was 28 degrees outside. I kept walking.

We got in the car and headed home, remarking how ironic and sad it was that people were sleeping in the doorway of an empty building. I thought that might be the end of it. I thought it was just another day in my life, a day of celebration until I invariably notice someone who has no reason to celebrate, and then I become a bit melancholy, and struggle to enjoy the blessings in my own life.

I couldn't get comfortable when I got home. I posted a picture of the enchanting festivities, but then also felt compelled to at least mention the person sleeping in the doorway. I appreciate those who responded, no matter the context of their response. I know everyone is simply coming from a place of love, and so I kindly accept it, listen, and appreciate the gesture. I pray that God challenges my heart to respond that way anytime someone comes at me with something...whether they're coming from a place of love or not. Pride so often keeps me from really listening.

I thought, 'What can I do? Tonight I should go to bed. Next time I will stop.' That's what I think every time I pass by someone living on the street, or the lonely, or a peculiar situation. I can't possibly do something for every single one of them, right? 'Next time, if the variables are all lined up, and God really puts it on my heart to do something specific, next time I will stop.' I conveniently remind myself if I wasn't compelled to do something specific it must mean God didn't really want me to do anything. God knows I don't have resources to help someone, especially right now. God knows I'm a girl, all by myself, with little in the way of safety and/or security. Yeah.....God knows.

But, then I did something unorthodox. I didn't give myself time to think it to death. I began to change out of my pajamas and back into warm clothes. I tucked my hair up under a hat and headed out the door. I knew it was inconvenient. I knew it didn't make any sense. But I also knew those are usually the special ingredients God likes when He is about to work. I didn't feel this great prompting from God. I just knew that I could do the same for that person as I did for myself that night. I could buy a hot chocolate.

I got a little nervous as I got into my car. It was a fear and trembling, but with it came a freedom in the lower part of my chest that told me I was making the right choice. Sometimes obedience comes first, and then God shows up. So I said to the Lord, "I will drive by, if that person is there, I will stop and buy a hot chocolate for them." When I drove by, to my surprise, there was not just that same person there, but there was now a second heap of blankets in the doorway just around the corner from the first.

'Okay', I thought, 'what's next?' As with any task lately from homework to housework, I broke it down into smaller steps so as not to get overwhelmed...parking first. I started to become a little frustrated when looking for a parking space. Those questions and statements that inevitably come at a time like this started swarming around my brain. 'If you can't find a parking spot that must mean it's not meant to be. Go home.' 'What is hot chocolate going to do for them anyway?' 'You don't even know where there's a coffee shop...and you can't even find a place to park.' 'Go home and get in your nice warm bed and just be appreciative of what you have, that's enough for now.' 'You have a busy day tomorrow with an early morning start. The responsible thing right now would be to be in bed.'

Without giving another thought I said, "God, I am not leaving here until I find a parking space!" Turned the corner, and there it was, so I parked. I brought my phone with me and just enough cash for two hot chocolates and locked up the rest of my stuff in the car. I figured the first place to go would be back to the festivities. I didn't even think that people would still be hanging out. As I walked, I realized I was not cold, not in the least. The air was light, and the atmosphere was still festive. People were milling about, laughing, and taking pictures. I felt a bit different than usual. Sometimes, if I am feeling the plight of the poor, I begin to get bitter towards those who are rich. I know that's not what God intends. I know He loves all people the same. That slight resentment didn't happen tonight. I loved everyone. I appreciated watching people celebrate. I stood and stared with delight at the giant Christmas tree, and watched as people twirled around the ice rink. I smiled and waved at the gentlemen tearing down the bleachers for the night, and stopped to talk to a couple of security officers. I silently prayed for the people eating calamari and drinking wine in the Bistro, and wandered across the street with a family who you could tell knew they had kept their children out too late but totally thought it was worth it. All the shops and food tents were closed down for the night. I couldn't find any place to buy hot chocolate! I said "God, I am not leaving here until I find hot chocolate!" Walked around the corner, and there was a tent that said 'Open'. It was a tent selling hot chocolate. I bought two and headed back down the street.

As I drew nearer to the heap of blankets my pace slowed. I didn't really have a plan. I kept walking anyway and prayed for guidance. As I approached the corner, I decided to go to the new heap of blankets first. I approached and said softly "I have some hot chocolate for you. Would you like some hot chocolate?" The blankets stirred and a gentle voice said "Oh yes!" The blanket was removed and I was met with an older woman with a gentle and radiant disposition. She looked to be in her late 50's, was clearly not drunk, was not dirty, and was very articulate. (I list these things specifically because, unfortunately, I believe they are three things people generally expect from a homeless person.) I was so stunned I didn't move for a second. I handed her the hot chocolate and the dollar that I had with it. I asked her for her name and she said it was Sonya. She said "God bless you", and I said, "God bless YOU. God blesses me every day all day long." I was not so articulate. I walked away quickly so as not to disrupt too much the warmth she had acquired in her little cocoon she had made. I walked around the corner and took a quick inventory of the next heap. The blanket had slipped off of him a bit, and he looked to be asleep. There was an empty half pint of vodka near him. I quietly said twice that I had hot chocolate, and then gently set it down next to him with the dollar folded under it. He didn't budge. I walked away....wondering what else I could do.

'I should go back and talk to Sonya', I thought, but quickly dismissed the idea, realizing that would be selfish on my part. That would take all the warmth out of her blankets to open up and talk to me. 'I know', I thought as I hopped into my car, 'I'll pull up nearby and let her sit in my car for a while.' I pulled up to the light near the heaps of blankets in the doorway, and then kept driving. It was okay. I had done what I came to do. Nothing more was required of me. What I appreciated is that I didn't have this overwhelming feeling of joy, or euphoria, or sadness. It was this balanced peace. It was a feeling of obedience, but also a conviction to change my own lifestyle, but also joy from the festivities of the night and how many people were so blessed and happy, but also a sense of gratitude for my own blessings, but also a feeling that we can all do a little more, but also....I was finally getting sleepy. I could comfortably, and gratefully, go to bed. I was happy to think about getting up in the morning for my job (I had just been half-grumbling a bit about it to my housemate earlier in the night). I have the chance, in the morning, to encounter even more people. I get to smile and offer love and energy to future college freshmen and their parents, and maybe even offer opportunity. I get to arrive on time and serve my job with integrity. I get to spend tomorrow evening studying and beginning to piece together final projects for my classes. That is all that is required of me today...to serve and honor God by disciplining myself (with His help and guidance, of course) to acknowledge and work hard at the opportunities He has allowed in my life, to use my time effectively, to not waste any resources, to love each person I encounter (whether in person or someone who happens to pop into my mind), and to be grateful for all of it.

I pray God looks on Sonya, and the man around the corner, with favor tonight. I also pray He looks on me with favor tonight and continues to convict my heart concerning His people. I also pray He looks on you with favor tonight, as well. To God be the glory!

"Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?....Does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?"
-Galatians 3:2-5

On Eagle's Wings

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