I desire to be good. More than being loved, appreciated, successful, healthy, or fortunate...I desire to be good. Some people who know me quite well might find humor in this desire of mine simply because I have been known to be a bit of a rule bender...or demolisher, as the case may be. I'm not really sure why I am that way, to be honest. It feels like it comes from somewhere deep, and happens before I have time to really think a situation through. I know that our flesh does not always give room for choosing to be good all the time. I do not desire to use that as an excuse as to why I am not always good. I can't help but feel that God can use these tendencies I have to rebel, ask questions, and fight for the greater good for His purpose. Is there a greater good? Is there something bigger than just being good? Living a life of excellence sounds better than being good. Being good makes me think of someone who always follows the rules. What if the rules suck? What if the rules tell you to do something that inside of you says is actually not good at all? What if striving for excellence calls you to face the majority head on and say 'there must be a different answer'?
I do not desire to behave, but I do desire to be good.
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