A Much Bigger Plan

I find myself sitting lately...contemplating. I look out the window and see the blue skies and realize I need to be outside. I go outside and stand, forget why I went out there, and come back in again. You would think I would believe that I am being punished, but I don't. I sit and stare and don't feel happy or sad, just caught in a moment. I breathe evenly and think about my future. If I am not careful with myself, I could get carried away on the wings of despair. The Spirit within me whispers peace before my tears find a place to rest. I am whole again. I was hoping for a thyroid problem, or maybe a glitch, because that would mean having children of my own was still a possibility. Now, I wait on the Lord to show me where I'm supposed to go from here. I had plans of my own, to some degree. Now, I wait on the Lord to show me a much bigger plan.