So many times we think that life is too complex, and we’re always trying to think about it on a different level than what’s right in front of us. What if life is so easy we’re foolish to try and think about it another way? What if we have one task, and because we do not look harder at the things we do every day, we miss it? What if it all happens just as it should no matter what we do? What if we are here and gone and it doesn’t even matter? Would that take the pressure off, or make us feel insignificant? I think I like to create different characters because I feel in the world we create on stage, that character has significance, no matter how small the role, there’s still a role. I can put everything I have into that character because I know they only exist for a moment; then they are gone. If I put that much energy into every moment of the character I am, I would be exhausted. I am exhausted. Sometimes I feel like I try so hard to do nothing. I feel I should be doing something other than what I’m doing, but I don’t do it. When I feel like I’m doing something I should be doing, I find it hard to keep it going because it takes all of me. I don’t know how to delegate my energy. I only know what I’m doing right now is taking all of me, but my mind tends to go to other places. I wish I could be more responsible. I know I could be anything I wanted. I could work at it and become it over time. The problem is I’m not sure exactly what it is I want to be. Sometimes I just like to sit here and do nothing. There’s no failure in that, or any success. It’s not complacency because my mind is reeling, and I’m learning about myself in that moment. When I’m not doing, I’m being, and seeing things for how they are, seeing me for who I am. I lie to myself sometimes about who I am. Sometimes I want to believe I’m a horrible person, most times actually. When I think I am an okay person doing the right thing, that’s when I know I am in trouble because I know I am deceiving myself. I am dust. I am also a child of God, created by Him, for Him. I know it is He who dwells in me and keeps me alive. It is not because I am a good person. It is not because I have done great things or kept myself safe that I am alive. It is because God wants me to be alive. I am not entitled to anything, punishment or reward. It is Christ who took the punishment and deserves the reward...Happy Birthday, Jesus!