I never thought school could be this good....I never really thought life could be this good. Every time I find myself in a good situation, I feel bad about it. I don't know why, I think it's because I start to realize how many people don't have it so well, and I feel guilty. Or, I don't believe I deserve so much goodness because of how rotten I am sometimes. I realize now that God wants us to enjoy the blessings He bestows upon us. Why would He want us to feel guilty about what He has provided for us? Who are we to judge what we deserve or don't deserve? As long as you are giving credit where credit is due, why not feel grateful instead of guilty? I realize I have not been a good steward of what God has given me in the past......but it's never too late to change. I don't expect to be different overnight....even though God does have the power to do that. I want to work at it...constantly....maybe stumble once or twice along the way (not purposefully, of course) to show me how I don't want to be anymore, and remind me that the right path is narrower than the wrong one....and arrive, victorious, at the end of it all. Every hour we need Jesus and the Grace His sacrifice has provided for us. All this goodness in my life is worth nothing without Him. Because of that Grace, I can sit here at peace and gladhearted. Because of His Mercy, I can sit here humbled and forgiven. Because of His Love, I can begin to find His worth for me, and define myself according to that, instead of the self-condemnation and brutality I so often allow to grow in my heart. Lord, I want to fly like a dove with butterflies! So....I had my class today, the one where I had to sing in front of everyone. I was so nervous I had to bring the music up with me. Just before I went on, I had to ask the girls sitting near me what the squiggly marks were and some of the other symbols on the page....turns out they were rests. When my turn came up, I told the piano player that I just learned where the rests were, so my timing might be a little off. She just smiled and said she'd try to follow me if I was off. Well, I stepped out in front of everyone and attempted to pass off, with a joke, my inexperience and lack of talent in the vocal department, then proceeded to belt out "All That Jazz" from Chicago as loud as I could. I was having the time of my life!! I didn't even care if it was bad. Granted, I was shaking and my voice cracked and fell flat sometimes, but everyone was laughing and having a good time with it. I danced and sang, and they all joined in a couple times with "..all that jazz". My whole life I have wanted an opportunity just to try something like that...and I got it! Sometimes you just gotta let it all out, you know? If you wanna try something, try it!! If you wanna take a risk, but you're too scared, remember, love casts out all fear, God's love, love for others, or even love for yourself. How are you ever going to know who you are able to become if you are never willing to reach beyond who you already are? The day has been good. I have to go home and continue to unpack and attempt to put stuff away..I love not being able to watch TV right now, or not being able to get on the internet at home. I do miss Sportscenter and CNN sometimes, but my life is much more organized without all that wasted time I would spend watching TV or being online. Before I do anything tonight, though, I think I'll sit by the pond for a while and remember to give credit where credit is due.......To God Be The Glory!!!